I am Not a Piece of Paper

This is the most stressful time of year for a senior in high school. College applications are due at the end of this week. I have been feeling so much stress and pressure with ACT scores, applications, scholarships, and deciding what college to go to. Everything has been weighing down on me and I realized, the world wants me to be a piece of paper.

I am NOT a piece of paper. I care about who I am, not what I look like on an application. I don't have a 4.0, I have a low ACT score after taking it 5 times, and I haven't gone to Africa and saved lives. Sorry, but I'm not perfect! It feels like colleges now days just want robotic, perfect people. Everything has gotten so competitive that I feel like I'm not even allowed to be human.

I applied for a scholarship called Sterling Scholar at my school in the Family and Consumer Sciences category. The interview went perfectly, I was very qualified and feeling excited. I was in my sewing class when one of the teachers who interviewed me came in with a bouquet of roses and chocolates. She stopped my class and said she had an announcement to make. Naturally my heart started pounding with excitement thinking that I won. She then announced to my entire class that I lost and that I was runner up. This sweet teacher's intent was to make me feel good for trying, but in reality it humiliated me in front of all my classmates and I got congratulated on losing for the rest of the day. (It's important to note that I am so happy for the girl who got the award and I hope the best for her!) This experience horrified me and the second the bell rang I sprinted to my car crying and didn't go back to school that day. I got on my knees and cried to my Heavenly Father for comfort. I then had an overwhelming desire to receive a priesthood blessing. I had training for a new job in a matter of hours and I couldn't seem to calm myself down. My dad was working in Salt Lake, I couldn't get a hold of either of my brother-in-laws, and my brother was out of town. I then had the thought that a seminary teacher might be able to give me a blessing. I called to the seminary office and the secretary informed me the only teacher with prep period was my teacher Brother Walker who I am very close to. Instantly a relief fell over me that I knew I was going to be able to receive a blessing from a very close friend and I knew I would be okay. What a tender mercy and great experience that was to speak with him and receive a blessing.

Heavenly Father took care of me in my moment of heartache. He always does. Why? Because I am His daughter. I have decided that it does not matter what the world thinks of me. It doesn't matter what college I get into, it doesn't matter what score I got on my ACT, and it doesn't matter if I have straight A's. I am a daughter of God and He loves me. That's what matters. I still struggle with so many things and I am so far from perfect, but I know that Jesus Christ died for me and that He is always there. God has a plan for me. I can only do what I can do and in the end grades and test scores won't matter. Where I'm going and what I'm doing with the rest of my life is a mystery to me, but with Jesus Christ by my side, I know I'll be okay.

Protected

After months of being nagged, I finally told my boyfriend McKay that I would train and run a half marathon with him. On Wednesday last week I felt motivated to actually run. Its a RARE day when that happens. By the time I had finished teaching piano lessons, it was too dark to go running by myself as vulnerable 17 year old girl. I called McKay but he couldn't run with me. My options ran out and decided to ask my little brother Nicholas if he would just go with to a track with me even though I knew he wouldn't want run. Being the kind guy he is, he agreed and decided to ride his bike along side me at our local junior high school track.

To get to the track you have to walk down a hill along a lit path. I turned on my Nike Plus app and set up my iPhone to a cold play radio station. I began my run and right as it got difficult my music shuffled and changed to the EFY song "I am His daughter". Running to this song gave me a power and strength that I have never ran with before! Most of the time girls go running to get their perfect figure and try to artificially build their self confidence. But here I was running to a song that was filling my head with positive thoughts of being a loved and strong daughter of God who belongs. That was powerful.

As if that weren't enough of a spiritual experience in an of itself, there's still more. My brother Nicholas was there to ensure my protection, just like my brother Jesus Christ does. In the dark and cold world, Jesus Christ protects us, encourages us, and keeps us going as long as we invite Him. I could have gone running by myself, but I chose to invite with my brother. As I lapped once more, I could have sworn I heard him say "Good job Sabrina, keep it up". After I concluded my run I asked him if he said that and he hadn't. Tears filled my eyes as I realized someone else had spoken that to me.

 Because of the location of the track, only one spot is lit, and the rest seemed pitch black. This felt very symbolic to be running in a dark and cold place around and around again. After circling the cold, dark track I realized my run would finish in the light. Just like life, we finish in the light IF we allow our brother Jesus Christ to guide us and come along with us through life's journey.

Nick waited for me in the light as I ran my last few steps. Together we celebrated while he being goofy played music from his phone. My dad came with a bike rack on his car to take us home and my brother and I walked up the lit hill to my father.

 Symbolically, our brother, Jesus Christs, helps us run life's race and helps us up the hill to our Father in heaven. Never run the race of life alone. It's dark and it's cold so just let Him guide you to the light!You will be much safer, happier, and you will not regret it. No matter how hard you try to put a smile on your face, life is sometimes just plain hard. Let the Savior into your life. He's already ran the race for you.
To hear the song "I am His Daughter" click on this link

First Post 11.17.13

I probably don't need much of an introduction because anyone reading this is probably a close friend or family member. All you need to know is that my name is Sabrina Phillips. I love my family, I love my friends, and most importantly I love my Father in Heaven. I'm a daughter of God who belongs to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. That's me in a nutshell.

I'm not an eloquent writer, and I am not even slightly creative with title names (hence the lame post title). The reason I am starting a blog is not to impress anyone or show off my life and my skills. This blog is mainly to express my gratitude for the wonderful blessings that I have. As this week has gone by, I realized that I've had far too many experiences to not share them somehow. Noticing so many blessings this week makes me wonder how often WE CHOOSE to be too busy and not notice God's hand in our life. Yes, it's a choice. It's a choice to notice God's hand or not. It's a choice to be too busy. It's even a choice to forget. No one can make your choice for you. The world wants us to believe in the grey area. There is no grey area! It's black and white. Will you choose God or will you choose the world? 2 Nephi 2:27 states:

 27 Wherefore, men are ^afree according to the ^bflesh; and ^callthings are ^dgiven them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to ^echoose ^fliberty and eternal ^glife, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be ^hmiserable like unto himself.

Always choose Jesus Christ. He loves you! And no matter what anyone says, He died for YOU! If someone such as Jesus Christ, the Creator and Savior of the world died for you personally, show your gratitude and choose His side. 

He died for you... The least you can do is live for Him.